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Party of Ten Series: Feeling Like a Fraud?

By Lorraine

Being a mom is hard work, physically and emotionally. Decisions, choices and wanting the best can leave a mom feeling like a fraud. Homeschool thoughts.

Feeling like a fraud?

We made the decision to pull 6 of our school-aged kids out of the public school to homeschool them. It took two weeks before school started to finally decide.

Party of Ten is a new, guest post series, by a mom deep in the throws of mothering. A wife and mom to eight children, Jamie writes from a tender heart, the experiences, the dilemmas, the struggles and the joys of large family living. She is real, transparent and intertwines the journey with encouragement, devotion and sincerity.

I started scrambling to figure out the material to use and how the days would flow.

 

Of course, I turned to Instagram and started following all things ‘homeschool’. The creativity and beauty of some people have no bounds. They post pictures of pressed flower booklets while their daughters sit in fields adorned in flower crowns, while I have a paper man hanging from my wall with scribbles of what are supposed to be organs and bones but surely wouldn’t keep that man alive in real life. They post of read-a-louds of volumes of books they’ve read and I’m still trying to convince my kids that the book actually came before the movie.

 

 

Being a mom is hard work, physically and emotionally. Decisions, choices and wanting the best can leave a mom feeling like a fraud. Homeschool thoughts.

I don’t feel like a homeschool mom.
I run. I sometimes run in long races. I don’t run fast. I try really hard, but I hit a limit. I’m embarrassed to post pictures of my running accomplishments because I feel like a fake.

 

 

Being a mom is hard work, physically and emotionally. Decisions, choices and wanting the best can leave a mom feeling like a fraud. Homeschool thoughts.

I love food, cooking and everything about it. I study how to nourish the body. When I hear organic this and whole food that, my heart races. I have such a desire to eat and cook clean and at the same time (let me finish this last bite of my Big Mac) I like fast food and my kids will surely die if they have to eat peas. I feel like a fake about food.

 

Today as I was reading to two of my boys, there was a part that stood out in the book. So far, we know that in a family full of boys, the old prophet in the kingdom comes to tell them that one of them is the Wilderking. It’s the unlikely brother, Aiden, the one who is youngest and weakest. He says to the prophet, “But I don’t feel like the Wilderking”. Then the prophet bends down to the boy and says, “Let me tell you a secret. I don’t usually feel like a prophet.” Aiden responds back, “the great Truthspeaker not a real prophet? Now you’re teasing me”. “No, no, no. I didn’t say I wasn’t the real prophet. I said I don’t feel like a prophet. But my feelings have nothing to do with it. I am Corenwald’s Truthspeaker because the One God shows me the truth, and I speak it”.

 

 

Being a mom is hard work, physically and emotionally. Decisions, choices and wanting the best can leave a mom feeling like a fraud. Homeschool thoughts.

It made me think. I have so many feels all day long. But my feels aren’t my truths.

 

I’m teaching my kids at home, so I am a homeschool mom. I run, so I am a runner. I cook us food that nourishes our bodies, so I’m a cook.
When I stop listening to my feelings and start focusing on the gifts and desires I’ve been given, I’m free. I’m free to enjoy it all. I’m free to see where I need improvement without feeling like a fraud.

 

I’m free to be encouraged by others successes without feeling envious. I’m free to jump ship on an idea or hobby I thought I liked but don’t. I’m free to take up playing an instrument, or painting, or marathon training. I’m free to acknowledge failure without feeling defeated. Ultimately, I’m free to love how God made me and therefore spill that over into all the lives around me.

Being a mom is hard work, physically and emotionally. Decisions, choices and wanting the best can leave a mom feeling like a fraud. Homeschool thoughts.

Posts in this series

  • How Can You Afford All of Them?
  • The GIFT of a Special Needs Child
  • Courage, dear Heart
  • Don’t Judge

If you liked this post you might also enjoy:

There is a Season

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Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: Jamie

Comments

  1. Maureen Tourigian says

    November 6, 2017 at 12:19 pm

    Jamie you write beautifully. I had to chuckle when I read “ I sometimes feel like a fraud”. You are the most real person I know and are the furthest from a fraud anyone could possibly be. You get that from your mom and it is truly a gift. I love your positivity.

    Reply
  2. Cheryl says

    October 23, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    What a lovely, encouraging post . . . a reminder that we need only please the Lord. Jamie must be a wise mother!

    Reply
  3. Adrienne says

    October 20, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    Beautifully written! I an in awe of a mom who has eight children. What a blessing! Homeschooling is a big job but one you will never regret. I hope you write more – I’ll be reading every word!
    ~Adrienne~

    Reply
    • Jamie says

      October 27, 2017 at 9:22 pm

      Thank you! That’s very kind of you.

      Reply
  4. Lindsey Toms says

    October 20, 2017 at 10:25 am

    Great post! Well done Jamie, I’m sure your children are loving being taught at home by you

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Party of Ten Series: Don't Judge | Grateful Prayer | Thankful Heart says:
    November 19, 2017 at 7:25 pm

    […] The GIFT of a Special Needs Child Courage, dear Heart Feeling Like a Fraud? […]

    Reply
  2. Party of Ten Series: "How can you afford all of them?!" | Grateful Prayer | Thankful Heart says:
    November 10, 2017 at 8:04 am

    […] The GIFT of a Special Needs Child Courage, dear Heart Feeling Like a Fraud? […]

    Reply
  3. Party of Ten Series: Courage, dear heart | Grateful Prayer | Thankful Heart says:
    October 27, 2017 at 5:00 am

    […] Party of Ten: Feeling Like a Fraud? […]

    Reply

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Hi! I'm Lorraine. Welcome to Grateful Prayer Thankful Heart. A place to find food for your tummy, projects for your hands, and encouragement for your heart.

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