Party of Ten Series: Courage, dear heart

Courage, dear heart – CS Lewis

I’ve scribbled this quote many times and it’s usually found smudged and faded, on a chalkboard in my kitchen. I whisper it to myself a lot, more as a command than as a reminder.

Party of Ten is a new, guest post series, by a mom deep in the throws of mothering. A wife and mom to eight children, Jamie writes from a tender heart, the experiences, the dilemmas, the struggles and the joys of large family living. She is real, transparent and intertwines the journey with encouragement, devotion and sincerity.

I haven’t known fear as deep as when danger touches my children or my motherhood. I’m speaking of the primal, fight or flight, heart-pounding, cold-sweat, terror.

It’s seems to start immediately too. Precious baby comes home and the first thing we do is wake in a panic that the baby’s not breathing. It’s the start of the many times that fear will take our breath away.

Courage, dear heart.

Merriam Webster’s definition of bravery is the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. My mind fills with many moms and the dozens upon dozens of times they were brave.

Bravery

Bravery is finding out you’re carrying a baby who is sick. Bravery is returning a phone call to talk with the principal about something one of your kids did. Bravery is keeping your baby with 103.8 fever close through the night to make sure she doesn’t have a febrile seizure. Bravery is accepting that your child has special needs.

Bravery is helping your teenage daughter mend a yucky misunderstanding with her friend. Bravery is sitting in an IEP meeting to fight for your child and making sure to be strong in the meeting, and no sooner shutting the door of your car and letting the tears flow.

Bravery is admitting to yourself that your child is struggling with something that you never wanted one of your children to struggle with. Bravery is adopting into your heart, a son or daughter as your own, knowing that the chance of agony you will suffer if they’re taken is great. Bravery is trusting a doctor to heal your child when the illness can be deadly.

Bravery is walking with your child, down the road of death when there’s nothing left to be done. Bravery is sticking to a discipline even when you know your child is going to ‘hate you’ for it. Bravery is making a decision for your children that doesn’t fit the norm.

The will to lay aside fear

In a book I’m reading to my boys, it says, “Courage is the will to lay aside fear because your desire to do right outweighs your desire to avoid getting hurt”.

Motherhood demands bravery.

I’ve been in it enough to know that fear isn’t bound to a season and that I’m not exempt from the worst case scenario. I do have a solid foundation on the faith that God knows my story and that He knows the whole story. I believe that He loves me. I believe that He loves my children more than I do. I also believe that there’s unexplainable beauty in bravery. That you could love another person enough to sacrifice your life for them, is the highest honor.

We can do this every day. We can keep choosing to lay aside fear to do what is right. We can take the blow of adversity in order to grow and then care for the needs of another.

Go and be brave. Courage, dear heart.

If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy another post in this series:

Party of Ten: Feeling Like a Fraud?

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